Protecting my business after-hours

There have been many innovative burglar alarms throughout the years. Many of these curious ideas have been consigned to history, and some have lived on in some shape or form. There are a few truly strange and interesting types of burglar alarms which aren't all that practical, to say the least. However, they all have a better version which can be highly beneficial when it comes to protecting your home.

1. The Bad Idea: A Remote Operated Kalashnikov Rifle

This one actually exists. Built by Hanif Molavizadeh, an inventor from Afghanistan, the alarm triggers a warning sent to Molavizadeh's mobile phone. He can then open a voice channel to the alarm, asking who has broken into his home. If he doesn't like what he hears, he then has the option of activating the rifle, spraying the room with bullets. This burglar alarm certainly makes a statement, even if that statement is immediate, messy death.

A Better Idea: A Remote Access Camera System with Facial Recognition

Commercially available, this system resembles a small ornamental cylinder which sits just inside your home, trained on the front door. When someone walks in, their face is scanned. The system crosschecks the face against its database of authorised persons (to which everyone in your household has been added). When an unrecognised person enters, an alert is sent to your phone, allowing you to check the camera feed. If it's a tradesperson or a visiting friend, no further action is needed. If it's a burglar, you can notify the police. There is, rather fortunately, no optional Kalashnikov attachment for the system.

2. The Bad Idea: A Doorbell-Operated Barking Dog Alarm

This alarm might seem like a good idea on paper. Someone rings your doorbell, only to be greeted by a cacophony of dog barks. In reality, it would be incredibly easy for anyone to make the connection that the dogs only spring to life when the doorbell is rung, remaining impossibly quiet the rest of the time.

A Better Idea: Something More Realistic

There's something to be said for a more advanced version of this type of alarm. It shouldn't be linked to a doorbell, but instead activated by a motion sensor. Someone approaches the target area and the "dogs" begin to bark. There should be a variety of dog noises played by the system in order to create a sense of naturalism. Or for the ultimate in reality in this department, you could actually get a dog.

3. Not Quite a Bad Idea: A Gramophone Burglar Alarm

It's difficult to call this one a bad idea, since it's really just an older version of systems that are still in operation today. In the 1940s, the system was used to protect banks in England. If burglars were to trigger the bank's tripwire, the alarm would dial the police and play the gramophone, which was loaded with a recording requesting assistance.

The Better, Modern Idea: A Monitored Burglar Alarm for Your Home

The same principle is used with modern burglar alarms. The alarm is tripped, and a notification is sent to your security company, who can then notify authorities as needed. Though the technology has progressed, why mess with a classic?

No matter what type of burglar alarm you opt for, it's probably wise to avoid anything that comes with a Kalashnikov.